This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize