just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
