His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
