So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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