If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
