So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
