i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The feeling are messing with the penis
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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