So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
