bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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