when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
