I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize