____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
