My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
