Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
