By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
