I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
