my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
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