No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
