some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
