there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
