Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
