I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
