Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator