ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

  Fav 8 3529 885

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

  Fav 12 3256 769

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (469): View more from Texas

  I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

  Fav 9 5516 962

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

  Fav 16 8939 1529

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US

  (281): View more from Texas

  WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW

  (281): View more from Texas

  THE REISLING ATRACEX US

  Fav 21 2415 1493

  share tweet
  

• (228): View more from Mississippi

  There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

  Fav 4 3438 1123

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

  Fav 14 4289 1475

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

  Fav 23 5577 1695

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

  Fav 4 2501 1385

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Let's just rave with boners that last for hours

  Fav 27 2240 1520

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

  Fav 10 3829 1013

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (928): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

  Fav 6 1758 696

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life

  Fav 2 351 114

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome

  Fav 0 106 135

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job

  Fav 2 46 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize