you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea