There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
organizing the empties. That sober.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.