Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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(804): View more from Virginia

i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'

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(260): View more from Indiana

ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.

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(818): View more from California

I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.

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(805): View more from California

I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace

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(310): View more from California

I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now

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(210): View more from Texas

just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.

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(863): View more from Florida

Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?

(863): View more from Florida

The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.

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