Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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  (201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs
  Replies (13) Good night (1313) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.

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  (904): the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar. http://tfl.nu/n52w
  Replies (42) Good night (8867) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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  (863): If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat. http://tfl.nu/9rvo
  Replies (21) Good night (1039) Bad night (3749)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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  (267): New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d4tz
  Replies (28) Good night (2279) Bad night (4940)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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  (813): watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide http://tfl.nu/fnhs
  Replies (41) Good night (7494) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

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  (870): She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call. http://tfl.nu/dsl8
  Replies (8) Good night (940) Bad night (4327)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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  (203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t
  Replies (12) Good night (4711) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  get to allyx's house asap

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ok is everything ok

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, theres just lesbians

  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg yes on my way

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  (224): get to allyx's house asap (312): Ok is everything ok (224): Yeah, theres just lesbians (312): omg yes on my way http://tfl.nu/mxwb
  Replies (38) Good night (7111) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (3094)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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  (918): As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy" http://tfl.nu/glce
  Replies (9) Good night (3321) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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  (262): Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene. http://tfl.nu/6cb0
  Replies (1) Good night (1326) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1702) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.

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  (404): Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/rj7n
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (319)

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