My nipple is on Facebook.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just pee around me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize