he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
