Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize