If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize