My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
jump out the window naked night went bad
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