Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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