Michael Bay diarrhea
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
