i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
