did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
