pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
