True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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