How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize