Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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