I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
