I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
