I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Couch. On fire.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
