super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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