I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
