think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
