I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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