just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
