Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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