I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
