Did you just see the Batmobile???
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
