Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
