look no pants
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
