Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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