I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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