Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.