ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.