I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
