A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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