Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Less talking, more tequila
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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