Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
