when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
