we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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