If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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